I am annoyed by the state of my life. Some version of “You were a very strong candidate, but we’ve decided to go with someone else” has been uttered more times than I care to count over the past six months. It’s happened with job applications. I’ve gotten it in auditions. I’ve gotten it with my writing. I guess this is just part of paying my dues but dear god I’m so sick of being almost-but-not-quite good enough.
My one bright spot – aside from making Plans for Nevermore (Mwahahahaha) – is my new reviewing gig with DC Metro. God knows I love to wield my pen in critique of others.
So far, the vast majority of the shows I’ve reviewed have been good. The only exception has been a community college production of The Phantom of the Opera. And dear God, that one was bad. The show was on Friday and I’m still having to rewrite the review to meet my editors standards and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Also, he wants me to bump up the star rating. And just say the Christine was having a bad day. I’ve gotta lie and I hate it. It was a bad show, even for a student production, and I don’t believe in coddling people when they’ve fucked up. They picked a show beyond their capabilities simply because the director wanted to be the first local theater to do the show and they cast a shitty actress for the female lead. But I can’t say that. That’s not how the game is played.
And now I’m having another mild existential crisis over whether or not I’m good enough to write bad reviews.
Ugh. I’m going to go play with matches and evaluate my life choices.