Welcome to Maria’s Kitchen, where we – by which we mean Maria – show you how to make dessert-type things for the cheap and easily distracted chef.
Today, we make stuffed croissants! Yay!
First, you will need croissant dough in a can.
Got it? Good! Let’s move on.
Next you will need filling. For today’s experiment, we’ll be using Nutella. Om nom nom!
Finally, you’ll need a cookie tray or aluminum foil; something that can go in the oven.
And, of course, you need a working oven.
Got everything? Excellent! Now to get baking.
Step 1: Get your dough out of the can and on the baking sheet.
Step 2: Smear some Nutella – or filling of your choice – onto the dough triangles. You can add as much or as little as you like, though a tablespoon should be plenty.
Step 3: DO NOT EAT ALL THE NUTELLA!
Step 4: Add any other filling choices you wish. For today’s experiment, we are filling some of the croissants with apple slices and chocolate chips in addition to the Nutella.
Step 5: DO NOT EAT ALL THE ADDITIONAL FILLINGS!
Step 6: Roll the dough and filling from widest end to thinnest, thus creating that familiar croissant shape. Your croissants may look misshapen from the filling, or may need the ends pinched to keep their delicious innards from falling out. You are allowed to do this. It may look weird, but if you want pretty food, go to Martha Stewart.
Step 7: Put in oven and bake for 15-20 minutes at 350˚F or until slightly brown and delicious. Somewhere between Adrian Grenier tan and Zoe Saldana dark. While you wait, feel free to relax and distract yourself. Check Twitter! Stream Thundercats! Try to get on the Pottermore Beta…for the millionth time.
Step 8: EAT THE FOODS! After letting them cool, of course.
(The FCC has censored the following picture of stuffed croissants being consumed, as it was deemed too graphic for younger readers. And too gross for older readers. The FCC welcomes you to instead look at this picture of a kitten.)
This recipe can also be used for actual FOOD food. Simply exchange the Nutella filling for a meat/veggie/cheese combination of your choice. Also, please do not use kitten as one of your meats. I would cry forever if you did.