This was a Twitter meme a little while back, and I figured I’d try it out as a blog where I could keep all my facts in one place.
100. I hate drum machines. I hate them with the fiery, raging passion of a thousand dying suns. I don’t know WHY I hate them, though. I’ve decided that I must’ve had a traumatic experience with a drum machine at summer camp or something when I was little.
99. I have never had a summer camp experience that didn’t leave me crying and feeling worthless at the end of each day. If my mom had ever been stupid enough to send me to a sleep away camp, there’s a good chance I would’ve hospitalized myself in an attempt to get out.
98. My dream career used to be ‘Olympic figure-skating gymnast opera singer.’ I would do magnificent ice-skating routines incorporating numerous flips and slips on my rocket-powered ice skates while singing Carmina Burana. You would think I’m joking, but I’m not. From the time I was 5 to 8, this was all I wanted out of life.
97. My first and second vertebra, the ones at the very top of my spine are fused together thanks to a genetic mutation. These fused vertebra are gently pinching my spinal cord in a death grip, meaning that, if I ever gain too much weight, engage in activities that have the potential to put pressure on my neck, or take a bad fall, I run the serious risk of becoming a paraplegic, along with suffering a number of other unsavory health concerns. These health concerns include chronic headaches, muscle spasms, and temporary upper body paralyzation when the muscles in my neck and shoulders get too tight. All three of the above have happened to me with enough frequency to make me obsessively aware of this.
96. I have shin splints. I frequently forget about this which has led to me writhing in pain on the couch after many an ill-advised visit to the track.
95. I started dying my hair when I was 12 after a semester and a half spent at a private school that forbid the cutting or dying of girls hair. I only stopped messing with my hair color a year and a half ago.
94. I am the bee whisperer. I have not been stung by a bee since I was seven, though they do land on me and sit for a while sometimes.
93. The state of Pennsylvania has frequently and consistently tried to kill me or make my life miserable. But I brave it’s hazardous roads to visit friends anyway because I’m a nice person like that.
92. I think capers are totally gross and can’t understand how anyone eats them.
91. Even though I seriously thought about and wanted to major in journalism, the fact is that I kind of hate writing non-fiction. I like making stuff up more than I like spreading inconvenient truths.
90. I feel kind of bad that I like making stuff up instead of spreading truth. Truth is interesting and important and is often the last bastion against the waves of marauding dumb asses. What is wrong with me that I’m so averse to joining the legions of truthy people? As a compromise with myself, I write about true things in the guise of really outlandish fiction. This is not the best compromise for a journalism student to make.
89. There is a part of my brain that actively and viciously wants me to fail at life. I’m not afraid of success, part of me just really doesn’t want it.
88. Much time and mental energy has been dedicated to the destruction of this part of my brain. Success has not been achieved. Yet.
87. I really suck at fencing, but I love it more than I’ve loved playing any other sport except field hockey.
86. I fell in love with field hockey in eighth grade solely because it was the only way I could cause my bitchy classmates pain without getting in trouble for it.
85. I regularly skip whole words, sentences, phrases, in my writing and speaking because my head is so far ahead of what I’m thinking.
84. I regularly rearrange words in familiar phrases by accident because I’m insane.
83. I play violin.
82. I’ve grown to like playing violin at inappropriately late hours of the night.
81. I still live with my family, so playing violin at obscene hours is not really an option for me.
80. I’m not that good at violin anymore.
Eventually I’ll do the rest of these and make my way through an entire 100 facts. That will take some time, though. I’m kind of boring. Obviously.